Brand New Eyes

This is reblogged from:
http://kickyourballs.tumblr.com

Top Ten Annoying Habits on Social Networking Sites.

Friendster users be warned, the following words will be scathingly harsh. Yep, I’m referring to THAT segment of the demographic.

1. “Emo” / “Eoh powhz” shot. You know, that one shot where they shoot the 3650 camphone from above while trying to squint their eyes and angling their faces to get that distinct Lil’ Zuplado look.

2. Photos of untouched food or Starbucks drink with the user’s name (usually misspelled pa). I mean, come on, THAT was the highlight of your day?! Pity. Ako, ang highlight ng trips ko to the coffee shop or restaurant is the actual conversations I have with the people I go there with. But if that’s what gets you off, then whatever dude. Yeah, tap that.

3. Really, REALLY long “about me” entries. Because sometimes, some people aren’t satisfied with just describing what they are like with friends, family, schoolmates, and pets. They really have this insatiable need to make a list of “I am blah.” and “I hate/like people who are blah.”. Ugh.

Dude, if you’re ugly, a long explanation of your idiosyncracies will never EVER compensate for that. Kung gusto mo, gawin mo yung Habit #1, baka gumana sayo ang Lil’ Zuplado Rule.

Addenum to Habit #3: Utang na loob, stop describing yourself as “SIMPLE PERO KIKAY”. Ilang libo na kayong ganyan ang description.

4. Pimped out profile pages. The glittery graphics and the embedded mp3 players (that plays mostly rap music about getting laid and getting drunk). And the full-on wallpaper-size background graphics of — *hit-hit ng hininga* — EMO PICTURES. Thank God, Facebook didn’t let that travesty happen all over again.

5. Flooding. Flooding. Flooding. Flooding. Flooding. Flooding. Flooding. Flooding. Flooding. Flooding. Flooding. Flooding. Flooding. Flooding. Flooding. Flooding. Flooding. Flooding. Flooding. Flooding. Flooding. Flooding. Flooding. Flooding. Flooding. Flooding. Flooding. Flooding. Flooding. Flooding. Flooding.

6. Jologs talk. +@Lking LiK3 +Hi$ i$ N0+ K3wL p0HwZZzzz. jejeje. (-\\) .\m/

Addenum to Habit #6: Trying to talk (or trying to type) like you have an accent is not cool too. No dude, not even when you’re trying to be black. Example: “hEy waSSSuppP!?”

7. Webcam shots of the same subject and same angle. You’re really asking for it when you use your webcam for an instant photo shoot. Come on. No, not even the night vision mode can make it a “creative shot”. It’s still your face, and lots of it, might I add, and the singular point-of-view. In more simpler terms: Nakakasawa tignan ang muka mo nang paulit-ulit.

8. Tweeting about every mundane thing that you’re doing every ten minutes. Unless you’ve just discovered that your freshly plucked underarm hair can cure Cancer, we couldn’t care less about the nitty-gritty details of your day-to-day life. No, not even when you’ve seen a really hot actress do an Anne Curtis at the mall. Come on dude, we’ve seen that hundreds of times already.

9. Recurrent requests and/or gifts to these applications and games. Concrete example: Yang mga putang inang pillows na yan.

10. Adding up random people for no apparent reason, other than to have as many “friends” as possible. It’s not a freaking competition for Christ’s sake. Who the hell cares if you have a gazillion friends?

Addenum to Habit #10: Creating a false profile that would indirectly help you “get more friends” who belong to a certain segment of the population. Example: a girl who lists her high school as “Ateneo de Manila High School ‘05”.

I mean, come on woman, everybody knows that that school is exclusively for boys. At least have the decency to do the research on your pseudo-school.

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The items in this top ten list are purely subjective and are based on my personal ire. The order I have placed them does not necessarily reflect the gravity of the offense.